brigid: Two adults and a child, wearing gas masks, peer into a pram. (parenting)
[personal profile] brigid posting in [community profile] altparenting
I have a 17 month old who hits/shoves when frustrated and who throws things, sometimes hard things, sometimes at people.

Any suggestions on curbing this behavior? He can follow simple directions like "bring your shoes to mama" and "go get your bowl" and "pick up your ball," but either doesn't understand or else ignores "no hitting," "do not hit," "do not throw," etc. Also he gets caught up in the moment.

We currently are saying "no," "no throwing/hitting," and stroking his hand while saying "remember to be gentle." Any other suggestions?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-14 08:47 pm (UTC)
inspiral_rose: faery with red wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] inspiral_rose
I have a similar issue. Other advice I've got from AP parents is to say "we don't hit in this family" but my favourite is "hands are for clapping, not hitting. Shall we play a clapping game?" there's a whole series of books on this, called "feet are not for kicking" and so on.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-14 09:44 pm (UTC)
theora: the center of a dark purple tulip (Default)
From: [personal profile] theora
My daughter hasn't quite reached this stage yet, but I've heard/read that it can help if you name the feeling for him - ask him if he's angry or whatever you think he's feeling. And you could try offering an alternative suggestion for when he feels that way, like hitting a drum or punching a pillow, etc. Good luck!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-15 01:10 am (UTC)
elf: Sea monkey family (Sea Monkeys)
From: [personal profile] elf
Sometimes, negative messages don't work; the "no" part doesn't connect to the "hitting" part. You say "don't [X]," and they hear "...[X]" because they're already practiced with tuning out the "no" part.

You could try a positively-phrased message, like the redirect to clapping, or, "Be gentle" instead of "don't hit."

Possibilities:
* Be gentle
* Move slowly
* Careful with that
* Hold on to that toy
* Soft touches only

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